Always remember that genitals donвЂ™t make a person who they are. Some people feel great using transitional garments. Some people want top and bottom gender affirmation surgery, but a lot donвЂ™t.

DonвЂ™t make assumptions about what a person wants in terms of transition.

DonвЂ™t do this out loud or in documentation. (вЂњDeadnamingвЂќ means using the name they were given at birth that went along with the gender that was assigned at birth). Even if someone hasnвЂ™t had their name legally changed, never deadname them.Ask for, and then use, a personвЂ™s pronouns! Never make an assumption based on name or appearance.I still have so much to learn about caring for folx in the trans community, but here is a short list of (some of) what I know so far, and what anyone coming to Carolina House can expect:

Being a part of breaking that binary open is amazing. Treatment for eating disorders is so often broken into specific categories, such as all-women or all-men (and pretty much never trans folx, especially if they havenвЂ™t had gender affirmation surgery and a legal name change). I have the privilege of observing, learning, and finding avenues of commonality. Some are gender-nonconforming individuals, others are cis men.ДЄnd as I watch this happen, I truly cannot believe how great my privilege is. Some who heal at The Estate are cis women, some are transgender men. I have seen people who have otherwise never felt safe or supported find these qualities at The Estate.ДЄnd perhaps the coolest part of all of this is that the groups are mixed gatherings of people united in their struggle against an eating disorder. There is room for both joy and sorrow here. I have absolutely loved watching that come together. I came into my work at The Estate with all of this knowledge hanging out in my head, with the reality that I will never fully understand the lives and struggles of transgender individuals, and with the hope that we could offer a safe place for healing. And, of course, as trans folx encounter other areas of oppression in their life вЂ“ for instance, having an eating disorder вЂ“ they also have access to fewer and fewer resources. They, of course, are a dramatically understaffed nonprofit organization with limited resources to help. Trans Folx Fighting Eating Disorders (TFFED) is pretty much the only organization working to help this entire community. These individuals were living with the absolute knowledge that the gender they were assigned at birth was not at all who they were, and that the body they had didnвЂ™t fit who they were. IвЂ™ve looked desperately for any kind of research I could find, as I sat with people who were struggling with the twin challenges of intense body dysmorphia driven by an eating disorder and intense gender dysphoria. There is precious little research out there for helping trans folx. Trans folx are so often left behind in the eating disorder community, and very often are misunderstood. I, along with many others at Carolina House, recognized a true lack of eating disorder treatment for the transgender community. Wherever someone falls along the gender spectrum, they are welcome here. There are so many things that make our new residence special, but the one upon which all else are built is this: The Estate is a fully gender-inclusive house. These are all things that have made it much more possible for me to be where I am in life today вЂ“ working at a job I love, being able to attend and present at conferences, and being respected by a community of peers that I wholeheartedly admire.ДЇor the past six months, my greatest privilege has been being the lead therapist at Carolina HouseвЂ™s newest six-bed residential treatment house, The Estate. I am a white, straight, cisgender, allosexual, mostly able-bodied, mostly neurotypical, financially stable, well-educated person. Although this is an essay, allow me to start as I do in all my presentations, by listing my privileges:

Trans folx fighting eating disorders